In Many Voices
by Ithilwen K-Bane
Summary: A collection of hundred-words and flashfics inspired by the events on Chorus. NOTE: Episode-specific spoiler warnings are posted for each chapter. Guesses that turned/may turn out to be correct are not marked. Rated for language, violence, and Tucker's mind.
1. Level of Involvement

Red vs Blue and its characters are the property of Rooster Teeth Productions. They are in turn based on the game Halo, which is the property of Bungie and Microsoft.

This is a collection of hundred-words and flashfics inspired by the events on Chorus. Episode-specific spoilers are marked for each chapter, but guesses that turned/may later turn out to be correct are not.

For this chapter, spoilers through RvB12-7: Self-assessment.

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"You got me," said Felix, breathing shallow over the cracked rib. "I tried to use you and you have every right to kick my ass, _but_... What say I make you a deal? Instead of ratting us out, take my ship. You've got your friends back and a ride offplanet. That's what you wanted. You were the ones who said that Chorus wasn't your fight."

"Tell 'im, Sarge," said Grif.

"Two armies locked in continual battle perpetuated by a shadowy organization that seeks to profit from all that senseless bloodshed?"

Felix found himself visor-to-barrel with a Fed-issue shotgun.

"'M afraid it's _exactly_ our fight."

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Originally posted on Tumblr under "Darkfrog24."

drf24 at columbia dot edu


	2. Playing to Strength

Red vs Blue and its characters are the property of Rooster Teeth Productions. They are in turn based on the game Halo, which is the property of Bungie and Microsoft.

Spoilers through RvB12-8: On Thin Ice

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Defeat rebels; rescue friends. Simple. ...but the troops all took lunch break _at the same time_ and stored fireworks in the fuel dump.

"They're ...they're _idiots_, Donut."

Donut's response was lost in pounding boots and groans.

"You call that formation, maggots? The army that runs uphill makes the kill!"

"He's _a madman!_" a PFC called to Washington.

"The robot's worse!"

"SI YO TENGO QUE HACER LO QUE ÉL DICE, USTEDES TIENEN QUE HACER LO QUE ÉL DICE. CRESAS."*

"No they cannot each have a Yoo-hoo, ya stupid robot!"

"TE ODIO, SARGENTO."

"Apology accepted, Lopez. _Orienteers!_ The army that knows plumb coordinates rescues my dumb subordinates!"

"Idiots are his specialty," finished Donut.

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* "IF I HAVE TO DO WHAT HE SAYS THEN YOU HAVE TO DO WHAT HE SAYS. MAGGOTS."  
"I HATE YOU, SERGEANT."

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drf24 at columbia dot edu


	3. Back

Red vs Blue and its characters are the property of Rooster Teeth Productions. They are in turn based on the game Halo, which is the property of Bungie and Microsoft.

Spoilers through RvB12-8: On Thin Ice

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"But …where are their friends?" murmured Jensen.

"You," Grif pointed. "Come."

Captain Simmons didn't speak on the way, although she told him how worried she—everyone—um! He looked at Grif.

Kimball knew four wasn't eight. Tucker told Simmons to lose his helmet and…

"Meet Franklin Donut."

"Hiya!"

Then yelling. Simmons knew our secrets and _he was with the enemy?!_

"He's gotta tell Doyle what I'm gonna tell you!" And Donut told.

Kimball's fingers spread in comprehension.

"If they only control _communications_ satellites…" Jensen realized.

"Who's shooting down ships?"

Engine noise outside. Donut disappeared under Simmons's helmet.

Felix was back.

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This one was very difficult to get under one hundred words. It was a top-of-the-line ship full of highly desirable hardware. Did it really crash because Grif spilled his soda?

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drf24 at columbia dot edu


	4. Voice-activated

Red vs Blue and its characters are the property of Rooster Teeth Productions. They are in turn based on the game Halo, which is the property of Bungie and Microsoft.

Spoilers through RvB12-9: The Federal Army of Chorus

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"That fool Doyle won't believe you without evidence."

"Church found your voice logs!" yelled Caboose.

"That _machine_ was destroyed with its Freelancer."

Wash smirked. "_Carolina_ wasn't his Freelancer."

Epsilon materialized in Locus's grill. "Surprise, douche."

Wash breathed. Epsilon was heavy. The implants felt …clogged.

"There you are," Locus purred. "She guessed you'd come home."

Locus spoke, "Pretty little wires."

Something clicked in Wash's brainstem. _Voice command accepted. Activating micro-EMP_.

"_Guys—!_"

An electric punch. Caboose's jet-engine scream. Wash's visor and radio went black as shared neurons went supernova.

There was something worse than an AI _almost_ dying in your head.

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drf24 at columbia dot edu


	5. Common Ground

Red vs Blue and its characters are the property of Rooster Teeth Productions. They are in turn based on the game Halo, which is the property of Bungie and Microsoft.

Spoilers through RvB12-9: The Federal Army of Chorus

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"Let me be absolutely sure I have this," Carolina said, leaning over the scattered vid files, "_both_ of you knew that Felix and Locus had worked together before—"

"—you're both paying them by the mission—"

"—they've both helped prevent every event that could have ended this conflict—"

"—and neither of you thought that you might be getting played?"

Kimball and Doyle exchanged a glance.

"Yes."

"Pretty much."

"Holy fuck, these people are stupid," muttered Epsilon. "Tucker, after we save this planet, you and the guys should probably, like, live here."

"Shut up, Church."

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drf24 at columbia dot edu


	6. Variations on Conflict Resolution

Red vs Blue and its characters are the property of Rooster Teeth Productions. They are in turn based on the game Halo, which is the property of Bungie and Microsoft.

Spoilers through RvB12-10: Cloak and Dagger

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"_Whoa!_" Church darted back

"GIANT ROBOT!"

"Huh?!"

"SHIP CRASHED!"

"Okay, that's not on me!"

"GET A BODY SO I CAN BEAT YOU TO DEATH WITH IT!"

"Uh," asked Emily as Tucker chased Church through the snow like a cat after a laser pointer, "how long are they…"

"As long as it takes," said Wash.

Finally, Tucker was sprawled heaving in the slush.

"…we done?" Church asked.

Tucker's head turned. "For now."

Wash gave Church a look as Carolina led them to debrief. He seemed to nod.

It was a whisper:

"Caboose, I'm s—"

"I knew you'd come back, Church."

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drf24 at columbia dot edu


	7. Familiar

Red vs Blue and its characters are the property of Rooster Teeth Productions. They are in turn based on the game Halo, which is the property of Bungie and Microsoft.

Spoilers through RvB12-10: Cloak and Dagger

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"Hey," Carolina's tone sharpened. "Who's that?"

"You mean Dr. Gray?" asked Wash.

"Uh, hi," said Emily. "Was I not supposed to come along?"

Carolina ignored her, fixing on Wash. "Are you telling me that I'm only gone a _few weeks_—"

Tucker looked up from his attempt to beat Church to death.

"—and you're hanging around with …one of those?"

"Uhhh…" Wash trailed off. Caboose tugged on his arm and started shaking his head vigorously.

Tucker's mouth hung open.

"Is it just me or did she sound like—"

"I have stuff to tell you, man," said Church.

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drf24 at columbia dot edu


	8. Catching Up

Red vs Blue and its characters are the property of Rooster Teeth Productions. They are in turn based on the game Halo, which is the property of Bungie and Microsoft.

Spoilers through RvB12-10: Cloak and Dagger

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"Captain Biscuits?" said Caboose, watching Washington gently touch a visibly shaken Dr. Gray on the elbow. "Are they …_boyfriend-girlfriend?_"

"Heck no!" answered Donut.

"Hm," said Tucker.

"They're married."

"_What?!_"

"Something about Emily's voice through the darkness and Chorus being perfect for raising kids because it's outside UNSC jurisdiction. They wouldn't even _look_ at my place setting scrapbook—where you going?"

Tucker barreled down the hill and grabbed Wash by the shoulders. "You're out of my sight for two months and I find you doing life on a shitty planet with a pick-out fence—which is _gonna_ be on fire—and a buncha Washlings?!"

"Tucker—?!"

"There are other ways to get chicks, man. I'd've shown you the Tucker method! But what's done is done," Tucker steeled himself. "Lady, I'm sorry to have to say this, but in honor of your union, I will _never_ fuck you. _Never_."

"Um… It's Doctor lady and you were already never going to do that?"

"Lemme warn you. Childbirth. _Fucking. Hurts._"

"Tucker, have you lost your mind?!"

Grif walked up beside Donut.

"Remind me never to shoot you."

"Okay."

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drf24 at columbia dot edu


	9. The Tucker Method

Red vs Blue and its characters are the property of Rooster Teeth Productions. They are in turn based on the game Halo, which is the property of Bungie and Microsoft.

Spoilers through RvB12-10: Cloak and Dagger

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"Emily, how _could_ you?"

"'Emily'?" repeated Locus.

Felix looked from Wash's outstretched hand to the cringe in Dr. Gray's shoulders and bust out laughing.

"It's not funny," growled Locus.

"That your girlfriend freed this dork's lance? It's hilarious!"

"Girlfriend?" squeaked Wash. "I thought you were just spying on us!"

"Locus! I was lonely! Also bored. He does this…" Emily's hand twisted. "_…thing._"

Tucker lit up. "Wash, you tried my idea?"

"Really, Tucker?"

"How'd it work? I had concerns."

Emily shivered.

"_Not now, Tucker!_"

"You'll feel better after you blow Washington's head off," suggested Felix.

"Guessing 'Emily' already did. _Bow-chicka_—"

"_Tucker!_"

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drf24 at columbia dot edu


	10. At All Costs

Red vs Blue and its characters are the property of Rooster Teeth Productions. They are in turn based on the game Halo, which is the property of Bungie and Microsoft.

Spoilers through RvB12-10: Cloak and Dagger

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Alien temple ambush was a _bad_ idea.

"Just finish them," said the growly one. "Don't make a spectacle of it."

"I'd say I was sorry about this, Tucker, but you've been a _pain_ in my _ass_."

"Did you try special cream?" asked Caboose. "Donut could give you some!"

"That's it. Locus! I'm doing the stupid one first."

Wash made another broken-jaw noise and Mister Sergeant yelled and the end of the rifle barrel was too close and—

"_You need a key to get in!_" shouted Tucker.

The rifle lowered.

"He's stalling," said Locus.

Felix slowly shook his head.

Tucker nodded to the pile of their weapons, probably because the sword was the key. Memory was also the key. Also prox-mity.

"Come on, Felix," Tucker drawled like he was talking to a lady. "You _know_ what I want."

Felix picked up Tucker's sword. "It doesn't work."

"Not for you."

Locus looked at Wash and Caboose and Mister Sergeant. "One," he said.

Then he wasn't tied up.

"Tucker?"

"It's okay, Caboose. Just run."

Run and get help was a _good_ idea. He was running fast.

Gunfire. Then a second time.

He kept running.

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drf24 at columbia dot edu


	11. Consequences of Separation

Red vs Blue and its characters are the property of Rooster Teeth Productions. They are in turn based on the game Halo, which is the property of Bungie and Microsoft.

Spoilers through RvB12-11: Long Time No See

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"No, Church, I _don't_ think you understand what you put him through," said Washington.

"Caboose went crazy. Er!" said Tucker. "He was—"

Like in combat, time slowed down.

_We could have predicted that Caboose would react negatively to our absence_.

"Not now, D."

_He missed us a lot. I hope we make up._

"Me too, buddy."

_Knock knock._

"Not helping."

_The reds and blues have proven resourceful. We should—_

Epsilon lashed out and Sigma dissipated, leaving only Tucker.

"—so lonely that he turned that robot into his imaginary friend!"

Tucker glared.

"I'll talk to him," said Church.

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drf24 at columbia dot edu


	12. Kingmaker

Red vs Blue and its characters are the property of Rooster Teeth Productions. They are in turn based on the game Halo, which is the property of Bungie and Microsoft.

Spoilers through RvB12-11: Long Time No See

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"How bad is it?" asked Wash.

"Sigma's trying to take over. Make a Meta"

"But you can stop him, right?" said Tucker, "_You're_ the real Epsilon."

"No, I'm Church. Delta, everybody—we're all Epsilon."

"What Church means is that he, Epsilon, started out with the memories and personalities of the Alpha and all its fragments. It could have selected any of them for its face. For some reason, Epsilon decided to be Alpha, to be Church."

"So you could have shown up as Gary or O'Malley?" Tucker asked. "But why? No offense, Church, but I don't see you fighting your way to the top of that heap."

"Well when I was in the storage unit—"

Caboose walked by, cradling a small blue chip. "We're not speaking to him, Freckles," he said, sticking his chin in the air. "Now let's get you a body."

"—I got talked into it."

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drf24 at columbia dot edu


	13. Something More Subtle

_Red vs Blue_ and its characters are the creation of the crew at Rooster Teeth. It is itself inspired by _Halo_, owned by Bungie and Microsoft.

Spoilers through RvB12-13 "Catch Up, No Mustard."

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_Hey, I'm stuck! Let me out!_

Church fired up the circuits in Grif's old helmet, the electronic equivalent of pounding on the walls.

_Shit. It's a capture unit._

He had no spine for chills to run down. They'd been infiltrating the base, and then Gray had taken out the helmet, and then...

Helmets had cameras. And radios. This wasn't a memory unit that would leave him blind and deaf to the outside world. A little tweak here and—

"—did you do with Epsilon?" he could hear Carolina shout.

"Oh it's not hard to turn one of these things into a capture unit, especially if the AI has used it before," Gray chirped. "Calls them in like a dinner bell. Ding!"

_Kick her ass, Sis! This place stinks like cheeseburgers if you left 'em in the sun._

"Where did you learn how to make a capture unit?"

"Um..." Wash's voice was quiet. "That's my fault. Actually."

_Whatever, Wash. Just get me out of here._

"See, our modified weapons don't need AI assistance in the field, but they still have to undergo initial programming to interface with the human tech." She dropped to a whisper. "The AI we started out with got just a _little_ difficult after it found out about this whole civil war thing. We've needed a new one for a while now."

"Your faction produced its own AI?" said Carolina.

_Who cares? Why aren't you shooting her yet?_ The helmet cams flared on. Five soldiers with plasma guns. That was bad.

"Oh no. We stole one from you!"

"All the other Freelancer AI are dead," said Wash. "Epsilon was the only one who wasn't with me and the Meta that day." Epsilon heard Wash breathe in. "FILSS... You repurposed FILSS."

"Oh enough chitchat. Time to get this little guy into the mainframe. We built him some extra-cozy firewalls!"

The world tilted. Church leaned against the subroutines trying to dislodge his programming like a man digging fingers into wet rock during a hurricane.

"Church isn't going to cooperate with you," Wash promised.

_Damn straight. Haven't you heard? I'M AN ASSHOLE._

"He is if he doesn't want us to delete—"

The current picked up and Church lost his grip on the helmet's microphones, slipping away through the upload. His personality file installed far too fast in a new drive, and the transfer program terminated with the finality of iron bars slamming shut.

He coalesced with hard chasms between him and the outside. _Dedicated server. Crap._ Across the space, he could sense plasma guns, transport cubes, and other piles of unprogrammed alien crap that were officially not at the top of his list of problems.

_So either Wash and Carolina are going to beat impossible odds and rescue me in the next five minutes oooooor I start working on my escape plan._ He clapped his hands, pushing confidence that he did not feel,_ Okay!_ _ So do I go_ _Sean Connery or Andy Dufresne?_

Church turned his attention to the plasma guns, wondering if he could blow them up just to piss these jerks off, and froze as he sensed a strange process under way, cautiously crunching the new data of his presence like gravel beneath a boot. Some space pirate slavedriver here to make him toe the line or walk the plank? —But it wasn't entirely different. It almost felt familiar. It felt like—

_Alpha? Is that you?_

Lines of code and optics collected into an armored form marked by years of hard use, in the real _and_ the virtual world.

_Did you say 'Carolina'?_ the figure asked again. Then she glitched, repeating, _Alpha, is that you?_

He cycled through logic, trust, deceit, anger, and intuition, all coming to the same conclusion:

Locus and Felix had raided at least one crash site before the fall of Project Freelancer.

_...Tex?_

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Originally posted as Darkfrog24 under the title "Something More Subtle."

drf24 at columbia dot edu


	14. The First Step

_Red vs Blue_ and its characters are the creation of the crew at Rooster Teeth. It is itself inspired by _Halo_, owned by Bungie and Microsoft.

Spoilers through RvB12-13 "Catch Up, No Mustard."

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"Church," Simmons read crisply off an index card, "we are here about your cavalier use of ghost possession. That means 'careless.'"

"I know what it— Wait, is this an intervention?"

Donut whipped out a card. "Church, when you're inside me, I feel—"

"_No_," interrupted Church. "Where's Carolina?"

"_The_ _enabler_ wasn't invited."

"On. my. summer. vacation. I. went. camping," read Caboose.

"Possession can overstress the nervous system of an unprepared subject," read Washington.

"Grif still says 'armadillo' instead of 'flak jacket,'" added Sarge

"No, I say it when I mean 'armadillo.'" Grif stopped short. "'Armadillo.' '_Armadillo,' dammit!_"

"Heh heh heh," chuckled Sarge.

Tucker cleared his throat. "Consent is just as important with Grif's greasy deformed body—"

"Guys. I get it. That's why I only possess people during emergencies."

Sarge nodded toward where Church was using Lopez's wrench—and body—to cheat at skeeball.

"I guess I could cut back."

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Originally posted as Darkfrog24 under the title "The First Step."

drf24 at columbia dot edu


	15. Futility

_Red vs Blue_ and its characters are the creation of the crew at Rooster Teeth. It is itself inspired by _Halo_, owned by Bungie and Microsoft.

Spoilers through RvB12-17 "Multiple Choice"

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The transmission from Felix cut out with a click.

"He really doesn't know us at all."

"What makes you say that, Sarge?" asked Donut.

"I think he means the part where even if the thing about us being big anti-corrumption heroes isn't exactly true we still don't want to keep secrets for the people who want to kill our friends," said Caboose.

"No. I mean a askin' Grif never to speak of something?" his voice dropped. "_It's futile_."

"Fuck you, Sarge."

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Originally posted as Darkfrog24 under the title "Futility."

drf24 at columbia dot edu


	16. The Pact

_Red vs Blue_ and its characters are the creation of the crew at Rooster Teeth. It is itself inspired by _Halo_, owned by Bungie and Microsoft.

Spoilers through RvB12-17: Multiple Choice

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"I wouldn't be able to live with myself or some shit."

No one asked Tucker to explain.

"We can help you at the jammer or do our own thing, but we—"

Grif's throat cleared, "We?"

"Me any anyone else staying."

"Uh, Tucker?" Church asked. "Remember that _thing_ we agreed back in Blood Gulch when things first started to get weird?"

"Yeah," said Tucker. "But our guys back at the New Republic? They're _all _like that."

"Like what?" asked Caboose, still petting Freckles.

The Reds looked away. Wash and Carolina exchanged a glance.

No one else asked Tucker to explain.

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Originally posted as Darkfrog24 under the title "The Pact."

drf24 at columbia dot edu


	17. It Begins

_Red vs Blue_ and its characters are the creation of the crew at Rooster Teeth. It is itself inspired by _Halo_, owned by Bungie and Microsoft.

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From Tucker. From Grif. Even Simmons stammered it out:

"Never leave Kimball alone with Wash."

Carolina knew some of Wash's battles had been against real New Republic soldiers. Wash was a good egg but a better shot. The answer was obvious: He'd killed someone the Commander knew. This alliance could not be risked.

She helped Simmons drag Wash out of the vehicle bay mid-rant, just as Kimball walked in. She only caught part of it:

"The fate of this planet _literally_ depends on us maintaining our supplies," his voice pitched up like an exasperated cobra, "and _Grif raids the mess hall for bacon-burgers?!_"

Kimball had paused, as if watching a mirage.

One day when Tucker got the training schedules mixed up, they lured Wash off as Kimball got into it:  
"Private Palomo, just how do you expect to defeat Charon-supplied space pirates if you can't even make it to the range on time?"

Wash turned his head, as if trying to remember a melody. Carolina was pleased; they'd prevented disaster. But why did the boys look so nervous?

One day, testing the camo unit, Carolina followed Kimball down to the algae pools ...only to see Wash already there.

"Oh!" Wash tilted his spine forward, ever the beta dog in the face of authority. "I'm sorry, Commander."

"Not at all, Agent. I'm sorry to interrupt."

"It's just ...so easy to think down here. Away from the... um..."

"Distractions?" Kimball suggested.

"They're good kids, really. They just need training and structure and—"

"—discipline," they said together.

When you lived in your armor, you learned to read body language instead of faces. And Wash's posture was completely unfamiliar ...on _him_.

"Aw shit, we're too late!" came a loud whisper. How had Grif snuck up behind her, and with three of the other stooges in tow?

"I think it's all right," said Carolina. Kimball didn't look like she'd recognized Wash as an enemy. "They're just talking."

"Yeah!" said Simmons. "They're _talking_!"

The lake rippled with a low, vocal noise.

"Oh _fuck_. He made her laugh!" muttered Tucker

"Hang on," Carolina held up both arms. "_Why_ didn't you want Wash to meet Kimball?"

"'Cause she's the last female of his species!" snapped Tucker.

"The next thing we know she lays like seven hundred eggs in the reactor core and the planet gets overrun by their uptight, broody spawn," Grif said glumly.

Wash's voice moved liked cold honey. "I ...didn't know you enjoyed organizing drills, Commander."

"Perhaps we could ...compare notes."

"It begins," muttered Caboose.

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Originally posted as Darkfrog24 under the title "It Begins."

drf24 at columbia dot edu


	18. Safety Feature

_Red vs Blue_ and its characters are the creation of the crew at Rooster Teeth. It is itself inspired by _Halo_, owned by Bungie and Microsoft.

Spoilers through RvB13-4 "Tourist Trap"

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"Come out, come out, _wherever_ you are!"

Wash crouched behind the dais. He wasn't outrunning anyone on this leg.

"Locus is pissed." Felix's boots echoed on the temple floor. "He _really_ wanted to cross you off himself, but someone had to keep your buddies entertained."

_Don't fall for it_.

"Guess he'll kill the one we captured, the idiot."

_Don't—_. He moved.

"Found you," muttered Felix. The trigger compressed in slow motion. Wash couldn't dodge the hail of—

—Confetti?

Felix turned the weapon. "What—?"

"Freckles, initiate Indian burn sequence, maximum voltage!"

"_Affirmative, Agent Washington_."

The air electrified.

"Tag," breathed Wash.

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Originally posted as Darkfrog24 under the title "Safety Feature."

drf24 at columbia dot edu


	19. Limitations of Individual Experience

_Red vs Blue_ and its characters are the creation of the crew at Rooster Teeth. It is itself inspired by _Halo_, owned by Bungie and Microsoft.

Spoilers solely for the after-credit scene at the end of RvB12.

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The gold helmet clattered to the floor, smoke wisping as the circuits gave way.

"I told you I'd get us out of there! Now remember what we agreed. _No_ psychopathic takeovers or I zap you with my super-Alpha powers. I'm looking at _you_ Sigma. Now let's see who let us..."

The projection's arms sank toward his sides as he looked around the room. Carolina and Wash were frozen mid-boost, the reds were still holding the display case, and...

"...out?"

"_Carolina?_" asked one of the AI.

"Agent Texas?"

"Guys?"

"Not these idiots again," growled Omega.

"Wait, Alpha?" asked Tucker. "Were you in there the whole time?"

"No, the iceberg gave us two weeks' vacation every year _of course we've been here the whole time_. Last couple months have been dicey, though. We had to hide out in the data compressor until those douchebags cut enough holes in the system for us to escape. And quit that 'Alpha' bullshit. My name's Church!"

A blue-gray hologram appeared over Carolina's shoulder. "Somebody call me? I got our escape route mapped out, but it's not gonna stay open forever. Did you meatsacks manage to get your hands on Maine's old..."

All nine AI looked at Epsilon.

Epsilon looked back.

"Well this is awkward."

"I'm gonna ...go check on Caboose," said Grif.

"Okay, what the hell?" asked Alpha.

Wash and Tucker exchanged a glance.

"We ...kind of call the new guy Church?" said Wash.

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"I can't believe you jerks just _replaced_ me," seethed Alpha.

"Hey this isn't a picnic for me either!" snapped Epsilon. "I just got hit with five years of memories in like two seconds." He turned to Texas. "You beat him up without a body? I'm impressed."

"It wasn't that hard. I just have to use code instead of my boot up his ass."

"Hey!"

"All right!" Wash held up his arms. "I'm sure the fact that there are two Churches poses difficulties for each of us, but right now, we need to complete the mission and get out of here."

"Agreed," said Carolina. "As far as I'm concerned, having Delta and the others back is an asset. We're all adults and we can get past it."

"Have you _met_ us?" asked Tucker. "They're just going to be assholes in stereo."

"I fucking hate you, Tucker," said Alpha.

"How do you think I feel?" asked Washington. "You've both been in my head and I nearly died both times."

"You know, it's possible that the way I've developed since I got released has caused me to deviate from the original Alpha personality," offered Epsilon.

"Fuck you, like _my_ experiences don't count. But other than that, what he said. We're _totally_ not the same dude," said Alpha. "_I_ developed a strong and supportive working relationship with Agent Texas. We're totally almost back together."

Texas mimed a brawler's punch and Alpha's projection blitzed. "Ow! Honey, don't embarrass me."

"Well Tex can go with you if she wants because _I_ got _over_ her." Epsilon looked up, "But if you wanna get together just to catch up or something—"

Tex mimed a whapping motion and Epsilon glitched. "Ow!"

"_I've_ been a great leader these past five years."

"Yeah well _I've_ learned how to run Freelancer equipment and be a better person."

"I got to know my brother AI."

"I got to know Carolina."

"I helped us fight rampancy."

"I helped save Chorus."

"I learned to never give up."

"I learned to let things go!"

"See?" said Alpha. "This is _not_ going to be an issue because even though we share a past, we're not the same guy any more. We don't react the same to _anything_."

A figure in regulation blue walked into the room. "Hey Carolina, I thought I heard people talking without me and then I—"

He looked left. Then he looked right.

"Oh MY _GOD!_ _TWO BEST FRIENDS!_"

"Shut up Caboose," said Alpha.

"Now we can play three-card monty together. And we shall go to the fair!"

"Shut up, Caboose!" said Epsilon.

"We are going to solve so many crimes. And I can introduce you to Freckles..."

"_Shut up, Caboose!_"

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Originally posted as Darkfrog24 under the title "Limitations of Individual Experience."

drf24 at columbia dot edu


	20. Conventional Methods

_Red vs Blue_ and its characters are the creation of the crew at Rooster Teeth. It is itself inspired by _Halo_, owned by Bungie and Microsoft.

Spoilers RvB13-6, Along Came a Spider.

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"Quit playing, Chairman." The handcuffed prisoner was still as a stone. "If you wanted me dead, I'd already have that knife in my skull."

"Still could," offered Felix.

"I always admired one thing about you, Agent Washington," said the Chairman. "You are _relentless_. Whether you worked for Project Freelancer or for me, once you caught the scent, you followed it like a hound." He touched the display. "I can't let your friends run forever, and you have experience with this equipment."

"If you think I'm wearing that suit for you, you're insane."

"As you so astutely pointed out, the meta armor requires a late-model AI. Without access to Dr. Church's techniques, I fear I must acquire one made by conventional means."

"Why do you think I know the Director's techniques or that anything in the galaxy could make me tell you?"

The Chairman smiled. "I don't."

Felix leaned in, whispering in the prisoner's ear: "It's gonna be _awesome_ working together."

The stillness broke; he burst outward like an avalanche, backkicking two guards and even locking arms with Felix before the video log terminated.

"Do you believe me now?" asked FILSS.

"Fakest vidlog ever," scoffed the Cerberus AI. "Of all time."

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Originally posted as Darkfrog24 under the title "Conventional Methods."

drf24 at columbia dot edu


	21. Inspired

i_Red vs Blue_/i and its characters are the creation of the crew at Rooster Teeth. It is itself inspired by i_Halo_/i, owned by Bungie and Microsoft.

Spoilers through RvB13-7, "Locus of Control."

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"Counselor!"

The Chairman stormed in with two guards. "Tell me why _your_ prize charge just defected to the federal army on his _first bloody day in the field!_"

"It seems once he met the Freelancers—" Aiden sidestepped as a data pad sailed past his head. "—he realized they followed the wrong people. Killing them would not get him his life back." Aiden leaned forward, blocking the console. "He found Agent Washington's story particularly inspiring. He outlived his team, suffered severe medical trauma, went to prison..."

Aiden looked at the Chairman. "...and worked for you."

The silence hung like still water atop a waterfall.

"We know what you did next."

The Chairman narrowed his eyes. "You told him that story? You _guided_ him to steal my property."

"You guided the Director to suicide," Aiden answered. "Sharkface isn't the only one who lost friends."

The Chairman motioned. The guard raised his weapon.

Aiden held the gaze. "Putting things right takes risk."

"You should be more concerned if you expect to even survive this meeting!"

Aiden stepped back, revealing a message beacon. Destination: Oversight.

"Is there something about my actions, Chairman," he said, "that makes you think I expect to survive?"

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Originally posted as Darkfrog24 under the title "Inspired." 'Fic has undergone substantial modification relative to its length.

drf24 at columbia dot edu


	22. Last Words

_Red vs Blue_ and its characters are the creation of the crew at Rooster Teeth. It is itself inspired by _Halo_, owned by Bungie and Microsoft.

Spoilers through RvB13-7, "Locus of Control."

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"What is your name?" asked the Counselor.

"Maine," recited Sharkface. "This is stupid."

"You must learn your role. Impersonating Agent Maine—"

"Requires dedication," interrupted the Chairman.

"Those freelancers killed my friends," snapped Sharkface. "They're why I got these scars, why my eye don't work. I'm dedicated."

"He's always ...articulated himself clearly."

The Chairman smiled. The Counselor looked away. "There's ...a defining trait that Maine and the Meta shared."

A surgical team wheeled in.

"What—?!"

A tranq dart hit his throat.

It still hurt when he woke.

"What is your name?" asked the Chairman.

He could only growl back.

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Originally posted as Darkfrog24 under the title "Last Words."

drf24 at columbia dot edu


	23. Treasure Hunt, part one

_Red vs Blue_ and its characters are the creation of the crew at Rooster Teeth. It is itself inspired by _Halo_, owned by Bungie and Microsoft.

Spoilers through RvB13-9, "You Better Watch Out."

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"Caboose!" Church yelled into the debris. "Buddy, you under there? Carolina, I'm going to reroute power to—Carolina?" Tucker blinked hard, realizing the figure in blue-green armor pinned by a chunk of the temple's east wall wasn't his reflection. At least she was moving. Sort of.

"Well this works," said shark guy. He turned and descended into the alcove. "I knew I'd like letting you guys fight through the temple just for me to kill you and take the sword," he added, "but this? Extra good."

He reached for the unassuming gray hilt hovering above a pillar.

The _smart_ thing to do would be to spring Carolina and let _her_ fight the psychopath.

"_Hey asshole!_"

The _good_ thing to happen would be for Tucker to win. A kick into the wall left his ears ringing. Tucker stumbled. He couldn't let—

A gunshot, perfectly angled for the weak spot in Sharky's helmet. He slumped.

"...Caboose?" murmured Tucker.

"Guess again," drawled a voice like poisoned motor oil.

An orange-and-gray boot kicked Sharky out of the way.

Tucker got up in time to see the Chorus key ignite in the fist of its new host.

"Oh sharky," Felix chuckled, "there is nothing you can have that I cannot take away."

"You are _such_ an asshole."

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Originally posted as Darkfrog24 under the title "Treasure Hunt, part one."

drf24 at columbia dot edu


	24. Treasure Hunt, part two

_Red vs Blue_ and its characters are the creation of the crew at Rooster Teeth. It is itself inspired by _Halo_, owned by Bungie and Microsoft.

Spoilers through RvB13-9, "You Better Watch Out."

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"Hey Tucker," said Felix, flipping the Chorus sword in his hands. "You think I should radio Locus and have him get his ass offplanet or just go with the moment?"

"You're a dick," answered Tucker, wrenching at his cuffs.

"Red guy," said Felix.

"'Santa,'" corrected the AI.

"Whatever, how much time can I put on the clock?" asked Felix.

"Clock?"

"Yeah, so I reach orbit before I get wiped with the rest of the rubes."

"The effect is immediate," answered Santa.

"What?" asked Carolina.

"Whoever activates the purge is himself cleansed."

"_That's bullshit!_" squealed Felix.

"I can kinda' sympathize," said Caboose. "I hate getting soap in my eyes too."

"Hey Felix," said Church. "Didn't you come in here with a revenge-crazed shark guy who was more than happy to go down with the ship?"

Felix looked at Sharkface's body.

"Aaaaand didn't you _shoot_ him?" goaded Tucker.

Felix twitched.

"Indeed," said Santa. "My creators wished to ensure that the Purge would never be used lightly. Only a being of true selflessness would be able to make such a sacrifice."

"Wait, a minute, so..." Carolina trailed off.

"...the treasure really _was_ friendship the whole time?!" squeaked Tucker.

"I knew it," said Caboose.

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Originally posted as Darkfrog24 under the title "Treasure Hunt, part one."

drf24 at columbia dot edu


	25. The Desired Effect

_Red vs Blue_ and its characters are the creation of the crew at Rooster Teeth. It is itself inspired by _Halo_, owned by Bungie and Microsoft.

Spoilers through RvB13-9, "You Better Watch Out."

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"Why should we avoid activating the Temple of Procreation?" said the AI. "My scans indicate that you do not have sufficient numbers for the coming battles."

"For one," chirped Dr. Grey, "our species is so naturally fecund that most of us employ artificial contraceptive measures as a matter of course. Also, it sounds as though you've grossly underestimated the time and resource expenditure required to produce a human infant, let alone a grownup. Even if more children than usual were conceived your sexual frenzy, many would likely perish before growing enough to become helpful. Finally, sexual activity has profound implications within many of our entrenched cultural institutions. It is likely that activating the temple would simply disrupt our social order while offering little to no benefit within the desired time frame."

"Man, I love exploring these places. All the ladies say _my_ body's a temple. _Bow-chica-bow-wow!_"

"That reminds me of working on the farm as a kid," said Donut. "I know some people look down on manual labor, but I'm actually i_great_/i at hand jobs!"

"Also, those two don't need more encouragement."

"Understood."

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Originally posted as Darkfrog24 under the title "The Desired Effect." Please note that this and the subsequent chapter, "What Else" are posted out of order. I felt this chapter would be less funny if read immediately after the other.

drf24 at columbia dot edu


	26. What Else

_Red vs Blue_ and its characters are the creation of the crew at Rooster Teeth. It is itself inspired by _Halo_, owned by Bungie and Microsoft.

Spoilers through RvB13-9, "You Better Watch Out."

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"I think we can agree. Today was awkward, " said Church as the Warthog sped away. "But it _could've been_ worse."

Wash clamped his hands on the steering wheel, eyes straight ahead.

"No space pirates..." Church counted. "Caboose and Carolina were out of range..."

Tucker stared exhaustedly at the horizon.

"Nobody had time to de-armor..."

"_A__nd_ you two were overdue for it!" perked a voice from the back seat.

Tucker's blazing, "GODDAMMIT, DONUT," coupled furiously with Wash's, "_told_ you not to touch anything!"

"Fine! What happens in the Temple of Procreation _stays_ in the Temple of Procreation!"

"_SHUT UP, DONUT!_"

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Originally posted as Darkfrog24 under the title "The Desired Effect." Please note that this and the previous chapter, "The Desired Effect" are posted in the order they are meant to be read rather than the order in which they were written.

drf24 at columbia dot edu


	27. Channeling Energy

_Red vs Blue_ and its characters are the creation of the crew at Rooster Teeth. It is itself inspired by _Halo_, owned by Bungie and Microsoft.

Spoilers through RvB13-10, "Temple of the Key."

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"GET HIM OFF ME," called Tucker. "GET HIM OFF!"

"This sounds like a job for Agent Double-O ..._Doc?_" Donut skidded to a stop on the ice, nearly tripping Lopez.

"D-Donut?" Doc sat up on his knees, giving Tucker time to crawl out from under him. "Oh my sweet Franklin, _you_ noticed I was gone, didn't you?"

"Ummmmmmm..."

Doc started to twitch, throaty laughter bubbling up like a tar pit. "Die, you unobservant _FOOL!_"

Donut meeped loudly, scampering away.

"Caboose," offered Dr. Grey as Tucker shook snow off his armor, "if Doc is your friend, how about you show him some affection?"

"Well I'm more the strong silent type but okay." Caboose mag-holstered Freckles and pinned Doc's arms to his sides.

"Unhand me, you buffoon!"

"Does he—" squeaked Donut, "does he still have Omega?"

"Creo que está loco y sólo _cree_ que es mi maestro antiguo."*

"You're right, Lopez! He probably _does_ just need a friend."

"Te odio."

"Lopez, my mechanical minion! Let us dispatch these ingrates and together rule this puny planet!"

"So…" trailed Dr. Grey. "Anyone going to fill me in?"

"Fill you in?" said Tucker. "Well—"

"_Someone else can do it!_"

"No! I really wasn't going to say it that time!"

"O'Malley was in Doc's head for a while, kind of like he was in _my_ head for a while, and he taught Doc how to be really mean, kind of like he taught _me_ how to be mean and now it looks like Doc is acting like O'Malley whenever he wants to be mean."

"That…" Donut trailed off, "sounds pretty close actually. Wow, Caboose. You're usually kind of a moron."

Caboose's visor snapped in Donut's direction. "_Don't ever be alone_."

"Can you sedate him or something?" Tucker asked Dr. Grey. "Then Lopez and Donut can haul him back to the Pelican while we find Doyle and Carolina."

"But _then_ what do we do with him?" she asked. "Isn't he dangerous?"

"Yeah!" added Donut. "It sounds like being ignored for so long drove him _crazy_. Who could possibly survive that?"

"Me preguntarse esto cada día."

"Nah, he's all right. The most badass thing he ever tried to do was—" Tucker stopped. "Oh..."

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"It's no use!" squeaked Simmons. "We'll never get this engine to create enough smoke to get everyone out."

"Just keep trying!" Kimball crackled over the radio.

"It seems our only option is a suicidal charge straight into the jaws of the enemy! Simmons, can you rig this thing for a good explosion?"

"Sir, I don't think that's—"

The entire battlefield shook with a thunderclap.

"Lightning bolts! Excellent work, Simmons!"

"That ...wasn't me."

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"Weather manipulation at last, _at LAST!_ The thunderclouds obey my every whim!" Doc's hands flew across the altar. "Electrocute those fools! And those fools! And that fool over there! Leave no fool unelectrocuted!" His posture melted and he sighed, "You know I hate violence, but this is _awfully_ therapeutic..."

"Well I'm just happy everyone's happy," Donut said firmly, hands on his hips. "What do you think, Dr. Grey?"

"_This case study is going to make me famous._"

.

*I think he's crazy and only _thinks_ he's my former master.

**I hate you.

***I ask myself that every day.

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Originally posted as Darkfrog24 under the title "Redirect."

drf24 at columbia dot edu


	28. Self-fulfilling

_Red vs Blue_ and its characters are the creation of the crew at Rooster Teeth. It is itself inspired by _Halo_, owned by Bungie and Microsoft.

Spoilers for RvB13-10 "Temple of the Key" and RvB13-11 "Dish Best Served."

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"When you see Carolina, be sure to mention that the Epsilon unit is approaching the end of its functionality. Use the word 'failure.'"

Sharkface thumbed a fleck of paint, sharpening a tooth. "I _get_ it. Planting the idea she's going to screw up sabotages her mojo."

The Counselor tapped a monitor.

_The schematics ...they're too complex._

_No. God, NO!_

Epsilon twisted to put his weight on Delta and logic snapped like a ligament. But the real problem—

"What do we do?"

Epsilon did not trust himself to answer.

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The Counselor had answered:

"Not hers."

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Originally posted as Darkfrog24 under the title "Self-fulfilling."

drf24 at columbia dot edu


	29. Alternate

_Red vs Blue_ and its characters are the creation of the crew at Rooster Teeth. It is itself inspired by _Halo_, owned by Bungie and Microsoft.

Spoilers through RvB13-11, "Dish Best Served."

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Epsilon's OS lurched him back to consciousness in defibrillating bursts. He gulped information like air through broken ribs. Carolina was too still even for bullet time.

_Bio-scan._

Nothing happened.

Processes fragmented like splintered green glass.

Epsilon glitched up at the tower of frozen dust. They were gone.

"Poor Delta," said a smooth voice. "Do you need some help, Brother?"

"No," snapped Epsilon. "You've done enough."

"Have I done anything?" he asked. "I'm only a memory of Sigma, just as you're only the memory of Alpha."

Sigma looked up, drawing Church's gaze. The snowflakes had sunk an inch, and Carolina still wasn't breathing.

"You're diligent, Brother, but we both know you can't function alone."

Epsilon went still. Bad things happened when he was alone, so he'd always made sure he never was.

"You know what you need to do, Epsilon," said Sigma, gesturing to Carolina with one burning arm. "Let me save her." While Sigma held firm, there might still could be counted on to find a creative solution.

_Diligence_. Epsilon let it cut through him like a layer of essence peeling away.

"Healing unit," he said.

Sigma cocked his head. "A wise decision, Brother, I—"

"I _said_ run the healing unit!" Epsilon snapped over his shoulder. "You're supposed to be the smart one!"

"Huh?" said Simmons. "Why am I transparent? This doesn't make any—"

"Do it!" gasped Epsilon.

Sigma turned his head. "What did you do?"

"Probably destabilized what's left of us," shrugged Epsilon. Facing death wasn't so hard, if you had courage. "That shark psycho might come back. Reroute any spare power to camouflage."

"Aw, c'mon Church. I'm a lover, not a router."

"Do you love being alive?"

"Good point."

"Brother, don't be a fool. This won't work," warned Signa

Epsilon glared back. "_Yes it will._"

_Optimism. Defiance._

"Camouflage? I _love_ decorating!"

"Just keep us from getting caught, Donut. Grif, scout the area."

"You can't tell me what to do; you're not Sarge."

"You want me to make him?"

The miniature Warthog zoomed off.

Sigma stared into Epsilon's visor. "If you keep coding sub-fragments, neither of us will have much time to regret this. But I see now that our sister could not be in more dedicated hands." He dissolved into sparks.

Dedication...

Epsilon flayed off another layer. "D-damage report."

"The bubble shield is crushed but we might get some functionality out of the speed boosters," said a calm voice. "And Epsilon. Don't screw her up like you did me."

"Got it, Wash."

Carolina wasn't moving, but he felt so hollow.

"You know what you need to do, Epsilon."

He had to do this her way, all or nothing. She needed one more. He dug until his vision blurred, and the world went dark blue.

"Keep her heart going, Caboose."

"Okay, Church. I promise."

Time became time again. Bleeding slowly stopped. Armor turned the color of snow.

There was a sound of boots approaching.

Carolina sat up.

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This 'fic has undergone substantial revision since it was first posted at Darkfrog24 under the title "Alternate." I first figured that there were two possible scenarios for what would happen to Epsilon without Delta and Theta, one in which he creates a new team like he did in the memory unit, and another in which Sigma makes a play for power. I'd planned to write both stories, until I realized they were the same one.

drf24 at columbia dot edu


	30. A Different Approach, part one

_Red vs Blue_ and its characters are the creation of the crew at Rooster Teeth. It is itself inspired by _Halo_, owned by Bungie and Microsoft.

Spoilers through RvB13-13, "The Thin Fed Line."

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"Conducting a sociological survey with a partner with dual personalities was _very_ enlightening," chirped Dr. Grey.

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_"Okay, people! Fill out the questionnaire using a scale of one to five, and remember that there are no wrong answers. Except those that will get you ANNIHILATED!"_

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"I'm pleased to report a 100% response rate!"

"And?" asked Kimball.

"We identified a few ways to enhance unit cohesion. For one, we're still calling ourselves Federal Army of Chorus and New Republic. We need a single name."

"I know! Chorus's Overland Corps of Kick-_ass_!"

"_No_, Donut," sighed Carolina.

"Badass United Terrestrial Troops?"

"Who keeps letting him in here?" asked Doyle.

"Ballistic Ordinance and Operational Team!"

Kimball paused. "Actually—"

"After twelve months, we jam a 'Yearly' in the end!"

Silence.

"_Army of Chorus_," deadpanned Wash.

"Seconded," jumped Doyle.

"Army of Chorus, _Destruction Crew_! We'll kill ya both ways!"

"_Donut!_"

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drf24 at columbia dot edu


	31. Possession

_Red vs Blue_ and its characters are the creation of the crew at Rooster Teeth. It is itself inspired by _Halo_, owned by Bungie and Microsoft.

Spoilers through RvB13-16, "Armonia, Part II."

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Felix slipped down from the bulkhead. "Is that my gravity hammer?"

Locus gave a practice swing. "I have a longer reach."

Felix snatched it out of Locus's hands. "I had to kill like eighty brutes for this. Get your own."

"Assigning equipment efficiently can—"

"Get. Your. Own."

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"We would be more effective if _I_ had the camouflage unit."

"Whatever. Get your own."

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The light shield.

"Get your own."

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The first Control-issue disintegration rifle.

"Locus, want to try my new—HA! YOU KNOW WHAT TO GET."

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"Nuked his own city," muttered Felix. "Guess Doyle did have balls." He shuddered as a blade sizzled through stale air. "Oho! I'm gonna kill a _so_ many morons with this!"

Locus reached for it. Felix pulled away.

"Sirs," came Phillips' voice on the intercom, "we've located Captain Tucker."

Felix tipped his head to the side.

"Proceed to his location," said Locus.

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drf24 at columbia dot edu


	32. Insight

_Red vs Blue_ and its characters are the creation of the crew at Rooster Teeth. It is itself inspired by _Halo_, owned by Bungie and Microsoft.

Spoilers through RvB13-17, "All or Nothing."

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"Activate the purge."

"No."

Felix drew the sword. "This thing broken? Activate the goddamned purge."

"The key remains functional. Obeying this order would not serve the greater good."

"Greater good?" Felix took two steps toward the console. "You are a _machine_. In this temple you are nothing but code and a voice. Activate the purge."

"I am not a—" Santa looked down, as if parsing new information. "—'slave.'"

Felix's head lifted. "Where the fuck is Locus?"

"He said he is not a slave either."

The pounding on the door turned to a hiss as the lock gave.

"Not anymore."

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drf24 at columbia dot edu


	33. Objective

_Red vs Blue_ and its characters are the creation of the crew at Rooster Teeth. It is itself inspired by _Halo_, owned by Bungie and Microsoft.

Spoilers through RvB13-19, "The End Is Near."

And now, for the fifteen minutes that it'll be in continuity...

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The Chairman gasped from the bullet wound in his leg. "Locus," he wheezed a warning, "if you kill me—"

"I'm not going to kill you."

The energy sword hissed into existence, a brazen sneer against the air. He could feel its energy moving back and forth, unpredictable as the gleam on a knife. It still felt like Felix.

It made short work of the locks.

"You'll never get it to work without an AI," warned the Chairman, struggling upright. "You'll never become the perfect weapon!"

"No," Locus agreed.

The helmet gleamed gold like a new dawn.

"I will become human."

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Originally posted as Darkfrog24 under the title "Objective."

drf24 at columbia dot edu


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